Naming the Unnameable: Staying Grounded in a Traumatizing World

Many clients have been asking lately: "What’s the point of talking about the things happening in our society when there’s nothing I can do about it?" I notice in sessions that some people are withdrawing, less inclined to share their feelings about what’s happening around them. My sense is that a growing feeling of helplessness is making it even harder to process and talk about these changes.

From a trauma perspective, the goal is to prevent experiences from becoming so overwhelming that they remain unprocessed in the nervous system and body. While events may be terrible and frightening, there are ways to process them physiologically so that we don’t carry unprocessed trauma through our lives.

One key element that helps people navigate exposure to horrifying events is validation of the experience. Both internal and external acknowledgment — someone recognizing that “this is happening, and it is not okay” — makes a profound difference. Naming what is happening helps prevent internalization, where a person might otherwise think, "Maybe this is happening because of me" or "Maybe I’m overreacting". Without words, without conscious acknowledgment, horrific events risk being processed as personal failings rather than external injustices. In therapy, we can see the difference between those who are more or less traumatized: those with external validation and clear language around their experience are less likely to internalize threat and feel crazy. Naming events concretely and describing what is not okay provides a structure for processing. It’s not enough to say, "Something bad is happening" — specificity matters. Naming the "what," the "when," and the "how" anchors the experience in reality and provides the nervous system with a path to integrate the experience safely.

For example, we might notice a van pulling up, people wearing masks and covering their faces, handcuffing individuals with brown skin, and driving them away. Naming this clearly, in contrast with what was normal before, highlights the change in our environment: "This did not used to happen. This is happening now. It is not okay." Doing so allows us to recognize the shift in reality, maintain our grounding, and understand that we are not imagining it. We are not alone — this is shared reality.

Trauma often arises when we internalize events over which we have no control. Our natural response can be to freeze, shut down, or immobilize. These responses can block our ability to mobilize our protective defenses. Naming the threat as external — and not something caused by ourselves — helps us maintain access to our self-protective impulses. Using clear language, imagery, writing, and discussion can prevent shutdown responses and help us remain engaged, alert, and capable of acting against threats in our environment.

It's particularly important to verbalize these details early in the process. Humans have a remarkable ability to perceive red flags right out of the gate - when something changes, we can often name the difference and recognixe that it is not ok, and potentially dangerous. Our natural mobilized responses are still functional at this stage, allowing us to respond in healthy ways when something new and harmful begins to occur. However, over time humans often lose the ability to perceive these red flags. Repeated exposure can shift our lense, making recurring harmful events seem "normal", and what were once clear warnings become blurred.

This is why verbalizing, describing, and writing down observations early is so crucial: it helps us maintain awareness of the change, preserve our capacity to respond, and prevents harmful normalization from taking hold.

Ultimately, talking, naming, and describing the world around us — even when we feel helpless — is a critical strategy. It validates our experience, maintains our nervous system regulation, and keeps our protective abilities intact. In times of societal upheaval, this conscious processing is a form of resilience, allowing us to remain human, connected, and able to respond rather than collapse under the weight of trauma.